There are fewer diversive areas for labels than when you apply them to people as a way of describing their sexuality, identify or interests for example. Consider the words Crossdressing or crossdresser these “labels” may sound sterile, one dimensional, bland and to some boring. Whilst, on the other hand, they may encourage visions of weird, abnormal and indicators of unacceptable or immoral behaviour. Whatever the initial reaction to the “label” the fact that one possesses an impression or opinion means we have a basis or experience upon which to draw the conclusions we arrive at. The depth and breadth of that experience shape the credibility of our options and therefore their value to both oneself and therefore others. Being a lifetime crossdresser and running a well established and respected Dressing Service has enabled me to both question my own motives and emotions and listen to others views on crossdressing.
So for someone who has some interest yet little to no knowledge in this area here are some ideas to hopefully either dispel some assumptions and hopefully encourage you to look deeper.
Just because someone presents as a female it does not mean they wish to attract the attention of a man. In other words, do not assume they are gay. The vast majority of Crossdressers are heterosexual some are but does sexuality matter when you first meet someone?
The interesting thing is the secondary questions that follow once people realise that you’re not gay. There is the “so why do you do it then?” Obvious yet boring question a little like the “do you come here often” statement no imagination but you know it’s coming. The following statements may give some insight from a rather different perspective:
Because I can! – OK, that’s someone who is generally at ease with themselves. Acknowledges that they may not fully understand why themselves and therefore if they don’t how can they can explain it to you. This may indicate how complex the issue really is.
It is an expression of my personality that my male persona does not allow me to portray – 5′ 5″ guy in his grey male world goes unnoticed, whilst 6′ 1″ glamour lady is complemented, noticed, acknowledged and even appreciated. A boost to self-worth or esteem.
When dressed I feel more relaxed – We all live in the pressure cooker of life. The action of transferring to a female persona and shedding the responsibility even temporally of ones male role can be very therapeutic and relieve tension and stress.
Three simple statements that may provide insight and food for thought.